Boss tells employee to spy on coworker who just had a baby to help catch her "slacking" and making errors, refuses to snitch on struggling new mother: ‘I’m not ever going to follow this request'

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Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Sep 2, 2025 3:00 PM EDT

There is a difference between being a good coworker and being a good employee; it can be hard to spot at first because ideally, you're aiming to be both at the same time. A good employee keeps the boss happy by meeting deadlines and producing results. A good coworker, on the other hand, is someone who respects boundaries, has your back, and doesn't throw you under the bus when things go sideways.

To illustrate the idea, back in my waitressing days, I worked with a girl who was quick as lightning the floor but had a habit of "forgetting" to refill waters or completely ignoring customers when it wasn't her table. Technically, she was a star employee because she made the restaurant money. But no one really liked being on a weekend dinner rush shift with her because she wasn't a team player and just focused on making herself look good to the managers. 

That leads us to the story below: when one worker is asked by their manager to start spying on a colleague who just had a baby, it feels wrong on so many levels. They're expected to log every mistake, report any "slacking," and even track when her baby interrupts a call. Considering this colleague had already been demoted after returning from leave—even though she'd been a top performer before—this sneaky, underhanded setup doesn't just feel cruel, it presents our employee with an impossible choice: be the "good employee" the boss wants, or the "good coworker" their conscience says they should be.

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  • 01

    Boss asked me to spy on coworker who just had a baby

    Mom holding a baby and working on her laptop
    via Sarah Chai from Pexels

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    My boss called me and straight up asked me to log notes of when my co worker was slacking, making errors and when her baby
    via u/Fresh_Doughnut2090
  • 03
    was being disruptive (remote employees). My boss was like she needs daycare. It's not like we have cameras up in her house and can see if she's working all
    via u/Fresh_Doughnut2090
  • 04
    the time. I was shocked he would even put me in this position. Besides the fact she was and is a top performer before and after
    via u/Fresh_Doughnut2090
  • 05
    she left for FMLA and they demoted her when she got back from FMLA. She's always done a great job and I've never had any problems. I just don't my
    via u/Fresh_Doughnut2090
  • 06
    manager putting me in this position against a fellow coworker. My job description. doesn't say to spy on my coworkers. It puts me in ethically
    via u/Fresh_Doughnut2090
  • 07
    Mother kissing a newborn baby
    via Alena Ozerova

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 08
    and professionally difficult situation. My boss is a manipulator and a proven liar. I feel like going to him he's going to get defensive, and going to HR
    via u/Fresh_Doughnut2090
  • 09
    is going to put an X on my back and tell him anyways, or worse it could come out later if this coworker takes action with HR
    via u/Fresh_Doughnut2090
  • 10
    f that my boss asked me to do that and I look like a despite I'm not going to ever follow his request. Help guys any advice would be so very appreciated.
    via u/Fresh_Doughnut2090

  • Um, maybe this is something of a cop-out, but I think both our narrator and the new mom should run far away from this company! There are so many red flags here already.

  • 11
    Man with binoculars peeking from behind blinds
    via D-Keine from Getty Images Signature

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 12
    SubstantialPressure3 Document that your boss asked you to do this. Tell your coworker about it. Because the boss is going to ask someone else to do the same thing.
    via u/SubstantialPressure3
  • 13
    Quirky_Tour3301 When telling your co-worker, make sure it's not on the company's Slack or Teams. And make sure you tell her you want to stay out of it and anonymous.
    via u/Quirky_Tour3301
  • 14
    Then I would constantly tell my boss that I have nothing to report.
    via u/Quirky_Tour3301
  • 15
    SalisburyWitch Confirm via email what exactly what he wants you to document. Tell him that you just need more direction. I would also consider warning the woman.
    via u/SalisburyWitch

  • It's really important to get this kind of thing in writing if you intend to go to HR with it.

  • 16
    Fallout4Addict "Her work is the same as before she had her baby and I've never heard the baby in the background" Rinse and repeat, I'd also let her know what they asked of you.
    via u/Fallout4Addict
  • 17
    Woman on laptop working on an email
    via cottonbro studio from Pexels

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 18
    The_Wee-Donkey Tell your coworker what you have been asked to do and log O times where her baby is disrupting business. It's up to your coworker what to do with that information.
    via u/The_Wee-Donkey
  • 19
    Fresh_Doughnut2090 OP Thanks! Do you think I could get in trouble for telling her? It seems like the only good that can come out of this situation
    via u/Fresh_Doughnut2090
  • 20
    the_greek_italian The first red flag is your coworker being demoted after coming back from maternity leave. She should speak to an employment lawyer.
    via u/the_greek_italian
  • 21
    SadNamelessPerson I was asked to do something similar at a job (asked to keep track of a coworker's break frequency and length.) I was never asked to document anything, just tell them whenever they came around to ask. Once they saw I wasn't their stooge, their attitude towards me changed and I was frozen out of their little inner circle.
    via u/SadNamelessPerson

Tags

terrible coworkers maternity leave pregnancy manager Professional At Work work coworkers motherhood human resources workplace Horrible Bosses pregnant
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